We’ll begin with box, the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox should be oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of mouse is never meese.
You may find a lone mouse, or a whole nest of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be pen?
The cow in the plural may be called cows or kine,
But a bow if repeated is never called bine;
And the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
If I speak of a foot and you show me two feet,
And I give you a boot would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth?
If the singular’s this and the plural these,
Should the plural of kiss ever be written keese?
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim!
So the English, I think you will all agree,
Is the funniest language you ever did see.
 

When the English tongue we speak,
Why is “break” not rhymed with “freak”?
Will you tell me why it’s not true
We say “sew” but likewise “few”;
And the maker of a verse Cannot cap his “horse” with “worse”?
“Beard” sounds not the same as “heard”;
Cow is “cow”, but low is “low”;
“Shoe” is never rhymed with “foe”.
Think of “hose” and “dose” and “lose”;
Think of “comb” and “tomb” and “bomb”;
“Doll” and “roll” and “home” and “some”.
And since “pay” is rhymed with “say”,
Why not “paid” with “said,” I pray?
We have “blood” and “food” and “good”;
“Mould” is not pronounced like “could”
Wherefore “done” but “gone” and “lone”?
Is there any reason known?

And in short, it seems to me,
Sounds and letters disagree

Author Unknown
 

I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no
It’s vary polished in it’s weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of which won should be proud.
And wee mussed dew the best wee an,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.

And now bee cause my spelling
Is checked such grate flare,
There are know faults with in my cite,
Of none eye am a wear.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed to bee a joule
The checker poured o’er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

That’s why aye brake in two averse
By righting wants too please.
Sow now ewe sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear for pea seas!
 

Many words that sound alike
Mean different things –
Like these:

Tail and tale,
And pail and pale
And sees and seize
And seas.
And deer and dear,
And here and hear,
And two and to,
And too.
And pear and pair,
And fare and fair,
And dew and due,
And do.
Many words
That sound alike
Mean different things
I know;
Like sun and son,
And one and won,
And sew and sow,
And so.

Ilo Orleans